What I told my kids about Mandela Day
My youngest asks allot of questions. His quirky, inquisitive randomness is a great insight into how his 9 year old mind works. Of course, these often present a teachable moment, case in point:
“Mom, I have a question..if you’re a policeman and you just got takeaways, can you put your lights and sirens on to go home faster so your food doesn’t get cold?”
I am sure he wanted a simple yes or no, but me being me, he got a mini tutorial on integrity, privilege, power and Mandela day. It went something like this:
Power is a big responsibility: Just like having access to lights and sirens when you’re a policeman.
With great power comes great responsibility – as Uncle Ben repeated to Peter Parker. (Spiderman quote, BOOM! This mom is off to a great start!)
What you do with your power directly relates to your level of integrity. The policeman has the position and privilege of serving people along with the power to do it, but when he decides to use his sirens for personal gain, he is considering himself above others, his own good as higher than the greater good. A good metaphor for what has happened in SA? I think yes.
Whatever power, position, and privilege we get given in life must be used for the good of others:
In the words of Spock (by this time I was on a roll!)
“Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”.
We are yet to have a party in power that displays this kind of integrity. Because despite the hard-won power, privilege and position, those who gained it has for the most part considered their wants needs and desires as more important as the call of their office and the needs of the masses. And I dare say, they are not the only ones. As we the people have the power to vote and the right to protest, these powerful privileges have by and large not been used in line with our call to Ubuntu. Nowadays I dare say protest action is simply mimicking giant temper tantrums that serve a few to the detriment of the many (think Eskom strike action and it’s the direct link to higher electricity prices for everyone. Think school protests that literally rob the innocent of their right to the very education you’re are striking over. Thankfully and tragically these are examples my 9-year-old and 10-year-old actually “get”)
I have no illusions about my 1% life. Neither do my kids. We have the privilege conversation allot. We talk about the poor allot. We talk about what we can do to make a difference and being socially responsible, allot. But this Mandela day, what I want my boys to know is that what he did can’t have all been for nothing. As I show them the footage of Tata Mandela being released, a day marked in my memory as a girl, I want them to know that there is a lot of work to be done still and we, the regular South Africans, whether you are the 1% or the 90%, have each our own power, position and privilege to enable us to make sure it wasn’t all for nothing.
We have the power to make our voice heard: We can vote. This is a democratic superpower (superpowers are things boys understand!) that we are to use wisely and with eyes wide open.
In view of our beautiful democracy and the hard won right to vote, if leaders who lack morality, integrity and responsibility remain leaders, then the problem is not the leaders.
We have the privilege of freedom: Freedom to access education (yes, I realize not everyone has the access they should have or the quality they deserve, but don’t negate the good news stories of motivated individuals who took this privilege seriously and rose above the challenges in the education system. And don’t negate your own ability to influence the system, for the good of the many, something I consider to be the responsibility of the “few”.) We have the freedom to engage with our government, freedom to engage in healthy debate, freedom to live out our convictions without fear of persecution. Not all countries have this.
We each have a unique position of influence: My housekeeper wanted to be a teacher. Thanks to apartheid-era “Bantu” education she never got the chance. But she has not let that stop her from using her influence in her community to find an outlet for her teaching passion. She teaches sewing and crocheting and focusses that on young women in the community so as to create an opportunity for ministry and relationship. She takes her influence and her position seriously in her community and I learn so much from her.
As a 1%”er” I don’t’ have to wait for a wage bill to pay an employee a living wage, I just need to educate myself and listen to my conscience. As a suburban mom I don’t have to start an NGO to help someone in need, I just need to step outside my door and be a bit proactive. As someone with access to the internet and thriving relationships, I don’t have to print a billboard to inspire a fellow mom to live with intention and meaning, I just need to post something or have coffee with someone. I think you get where I am going with this.
We have the most amazing country! Seriously, what’s not to love? Check out this cool article on 100 Best Things to do in South Africa if you need some SA inspiration. Now is not the time for giving up, but ramping up!
May we as South Africans resist being mere branches in the flow of negativity about our country, and instead be kindling that sparks action and ignites hope. May we as South Africans take our power, privilege and position seriously. We don’t need more protesters, protagonists, patronisers and problem-pointer-outers! We need more boots-on-the-ground, BHAG Believing, brave ones who refuse to stop moving forward. So I told my boys, don’t be fence-sitters, naysayers, complainers! Be dreamers, believers and doers. And may that not just be a Mandela day thing, but an everyday thing!