What word would you use to describe your faith in this season? In our online prayer meeting at church a few weeks ago (yes, cause that’s a thing now), a live poll indicated that more than 70% of people felt that their faith had grown during lockdown! Yay for them, but if I am honest I know that I have struggled to stay within that 70%. I wanted to. But it felt like a fight. A fight for faith. A fight I refuse to walk away from because I know what a life apart from Christ is like and to me that is just not an option. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard. Most of the time I felt like I was faltering. To be fierce means to show heartfelt and passionate intensity. I want to be a fierce woman of faith, who intently and intensely displays faith.
But what does the fight for fierce faith look like in this season? I don’t know about you but it feels like there are blows coming at me from all sorts of directions! How can we keep choosing the walk of faith when the journey is this hard? Faith is more than a spiritual position. Sometimes, no often, it’s also a response. And a response is always a choice! Job gave us that example, so did many others in the Bible. So how do we keep choosing fierce faith when we feel like we’re faltering?
We choose fierce faith when we stay fully convinced of God’s intention to perform what He promised:
If anyone needed ferocious faith it was Abraham and Sarah! Am I right? I mean talk about unlikely people in the kind of circumstances that made what they hope for flat out impossible nevermind what your God promised! But even as the years ticked by and the promise remained just a highlighted set of verses in his bible, Abraham remained fully convinced (Rom 4 v 21) that God was able to perform what He had promised. How did he remain convinced? In him and Sarah’s waiting, they continued to “judge God faithful” (Rom 11 v 11) They fixed their eyes not on the impossibility of their situation, not even on the set of highlighted verses of promise, but on the intention of God to do what He said ((Is 14 v 24). They assessed His track record and became fully convinced that yes, He is able, and in His time also ready to perform His word (Jer 1 v 12).
We choose fierce faith when we acknowledge God’s ability in the face of impossible circumstances:
If Abraham was taking our Corona Poll at Rosebank Union Church, he would have been firmly in the 70%, because rather than growing weak, his faith in God grew stronger while he waited. We read in Rom 4 v 20 that Abraham did not allow himself to waver through unbelief – he did not falter – which just blows my mind by the way! And through the act of simply holding on, his faith was strengthened. Wow, right?
Faith is not as some people might think, a denial of impossible circumstances. It’s not tattooing “with God all things are possible” on your arm and not watching the news so you are more able to maintain a “positive attitude”. Yes, I’m using inverted commas. And yes, with all the snark you’ve come to expect from yours truly. That is not faith. Faith is not a denial of the problem, it’s believing God’s word in the face of the problem. Biblical faith does not deny the problem or circumstances but holds fast that God remains greater than the problem or the circumstances. Is that the God you know? Because it’s hard to trust someone you don’t know, as I discovered in my fight for hope through the uncertainty Coronavirus.
We choose fierce faith when we choose to believe God has the final word over our circumstances:
Not our words. Not our feelings. God’s final word is yes! Because faith is taking God at His word, not taking our feelings so seriously that we can’t see past them.
You see a guarantee, the one we’ve received, is not a feeling, it’s a contract. What we have been given in the Holy Spirit is not about good vibes (which obviously don’t last long in bad situations), but a guarantee, a pledge. It’s God’s commitment to complete His work in us (Eph 5 v 5, Rom 8 v 23), thereby confirming the Yes that is Jesus, the complete portion, the fulfillment of every promise God ever made! But how does that help me? By His Holy Spirit, we are enabled to live God’s perfection in imperfect situations. God’s perfection is Jesus, who lives in us, making us more and more able to respond perfectly in the difficult and challenging circumstances of our lives, oh and bonus, offering us grace when we don’t!
We choose fierce faith when we choose what we know over what we feel:
Here is the thing that I am realizing. Pastor Dave one of our pastor’s said on Sunday during online church (cause yeah, that’s a thing now too) that our faith in suffering is really our biggest testimony. We are all, right now, becoming what we declare. How scary is that? Right now, all over the world, believers are wrestling, and it’s because our doctrine, what we truly believe about God and what we believe about the world in relation to God is never more apparent than when we are in crisis.
The fact is that our doctrine is our everyday companion, it is coming out of our mouths and our fingertips, rolling around in our thoughts and manifesting itself in our homes all the time, maybe without us even being conscious of it. What we believe about God and the world is evident in how we work, how we entertain ourselves (jip, in the TV series we pick!), how we speak and eat, and yes, in how we suffer and struggle. One of the reasons I wrote The Mommy Diaries is because of this fact, that our fundamental beliefs are not some random mental state we engage from time to time, but it actually shows itself in every action and situation. And that it’s ultimately our children’s beliefs that drive their behaviors, as is the case with us, whether we like it or not. So addressing the beliefs rather than the behaviors if you’re a parent, is critical.
All of my life is the outworking of my beliefs. If so many of us are experiencing a crisis of faith, what we should be doing is working back from that intense worry, anxiety, need for escape, emotional low to the core belief that drives it and measuring that against the doctrine we profess to subscribe to so it can reveal itself as either true, or a lie. So as we go through whatever we’re going through, I hope what we are asking ourselves more is: what do I believe – i.e what is my doctrine? About God…the world…all of this. And hopefully what we are listening to a bit less is: How do I feel? Faith is not a feeling.
Jesus calls us to do the “work of believing” (John 6 v 29). That work is this: consistently lining up your convictions and your action. And for that work to be aligned, correct, built on truth, not a house that will falter and fall when shaken, Jesus should be the plum-line, the ultimate reference point. That’s what a cornerstone is!
Kona Brown
So how can I have this kind of faith? Paul said he could suffer while remaining full of faith because he knew WHOM he had believed and was persuaded beyond any doubt in His ability (2 Tim 1 v 12). The focus of his faith was more than just what he believed, it was in knowing WHOM he had believed. His faith was about more than merely holding on to a set of promises, it was about holding on to the Person behind the promises, so that even if the promises are not fulfilled, then he would remain convinced that even that would be, MUST be, for his good because of the character of Whom he believed, the one who works ALL for our good (Rom 8 v 28), even something that looks like a broken promise or disappointment. Fierce faith rests IN Him (1 Cor 2 v 5), abides in Him (John 15 v 4, 7) and cannot be separated from the loving personhood of God in the Lord Jesus (Rom 8 v 38, 39)
Choosing faith may not eliminate our present pain or difficulty. It probably won’t even stop the many questions we still have. It will not “explain away” our present circumstances. But it will remind us of Who is really in control and produce in us endurance (James 1 v 2 – 5), and yield in us even greater fruit (Heb 12 v 11). I know I want that, even if it’s hard!
This is all I’ve got. I know how hard it is right now. Remember I am praying for you.
With handy journaling prompts to help you dig deeper
I’ve read a lot about what people think this global pandemic means. I am sure you have too. We swerve all over the map, wondering if this is a judgment, grappling with God’s sovereignty, forwarding prophesies and Bible verses and any relevant podcast to friends and family. On the other side, we challenge ourselves and our friends to “make this count”, i.e get a six-pack, run a marathon, learn another language, do a masterclass, and the list goes on. I think maybe we’ve all emotionally positioned ourselves in all of these responses at some point? I know I have. And I believe the reason is this: We are meaning-makers, and whether we know it or not, we want to understand, what does this mean? Why is this happening?
I don’t know. Most of the time I am as confused as a monkey with a maths problem. But I do know 2 things:
God is involved. It never just “is what it is”. There is always more going on than just what you can see. We are holistic beings and our experiences and our walk through this world always have physical, emotional and spiritual components. God is uniquely involved in the lives of his children so nothing that happens to us just “is what it is”. We walk by a different light and it is because of that that we are called to walk circumspectly (Eph 5 v 15 – 21), always looking for and trying to understand the will of God, because the times we live in call for it.
We as believers, right now,in the midsts of this, are being tested. How do I know that? Because I can feel myself stretched. I can feel myself grappling for answers and understanding. I can feel myself failing. I can feel pressure. And isn’t that what being tested feels like? Regardless of what else this is, this is test for us as believers. A test that calls us to look a little deeper at every area and part of our life and our world.
Understanding that this is a time of testing is really helping me right now, because it means I can position myself to gain the benefits that tests and trials are supposed to bring about. If that sounds like something that will help you too, keep reading:
A test is only useful and meaningful if we allow it to do what tests are intended to do. Otherwise, it’s just a stressful season we must “white-knuckle” through. So, what is the purpose of a test?
The purpose of a test is to assess our ability to apply what we’ve learned:
Almost as though our time with God, under good teaching, in studying His word, is like being in the classroom. The knowledge is only useful to us if we are able to apply it outside of the classroom. Once we leave church and go into our week, once we get up from that quiet time, once we put our bible, that resource, that devotional down. That is where the test lies because that is where our ability to apply what we have learned is revealed. Until then, it’s all just theory isn’t it? We are all just sitting around postulating. Looking like Christians but not necessarily living like them. That is why James says we will be matured, because biblestudy might grow us, but a test will mature us.
The purpose of a test is to examine our foundations and reveal cracks:
Do you know how concrete is tested? By something called a compressive strength test – which is a mechanical test measuring the maximum amount of compressive load a material can bear before fracturing. It’s basically a pressure test.
When the lockdown came about, and its impact on me and my family’s life, in the immediate and in the future, became more and more apparent, I came apart at the seams. I won’t lie. The pressure of the situation revealed to me how much trust, how much faith I had placed in:
My financial security
My ability to plan and control the present and the future
Suddenly, neither of these things “worked” anymore. They could not be my source of peace anymore because, in short, they no longer existed. Suddenly they could not save or protect me. The situation I found myself in revealed to me how much I held on to these things as pillars, how foundational they were to my well-being, how much I trusted in them for my future and the future of my family. It revealed how little stability they truly provided, how unable they were to withstand the pressure of the current situation. This crisis had exposed my idols, the things I worshipped and trusted in more than God. And they were crumbling under the pressure.
That is why James says at the end of a test we will be more complete/ more whole, not lacking in anything. Almost always, tests show us where we are lacking, where the gaps exist in our trusting, in our believing and therefore in our thinking and feeling.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord And whose hope is the Lord. For He shall be like a tree planted by the waters Which spreads out it’s roots by the river And will not fear when heat comes But it’s leaf will be green And it will not be ancious in the yea rof drought Nor will cease from yielding fruit”
(Jer 17 v 7 – 8)
The purpose of a test is to refine us:
To refine silver, the refiner would use a delicate process of lead and heat to remove impurities to purify silver. It is a process requiring the refiner’s diligent attention, not a process he sets in motion and then walks away from, only coming back once there is a satisfactory end result. There is so much hope for us in understanding this.
If this feels like a trial by fire for you, this is what I want you to know:
God’s refining fire is not to destroy, it’s to purify. But why does purity matter? God’s desire for our purity is not because his love depends on that or because our salvation does, Jesus already proved that is not the case. His desire is to walk with us, and the purity of our hearts brings us ever closer to Him (Matt 5 v 8). We are being purified to be drawn into greater intimacy with Him, definitely something we can consider “pure joy”.
Secondly, our impurities, the things that are hampering us, distortions in our picture of God, incorrect beliefs, sinful patterns of brokenness or behavior, is being burned away, for the sake of our fruitfulness. Our fruitfulness (not our comfort) is always of huge concern to God because of what it (our fruitfulness) declares about Him to the world. We all have areas of rebellion and unbelief, and nothing will reveal to us those attitudes but a test that feels like fire.
God is paying vigilant attention to you right at this moment and is deeply involved and invested in the outcome of this in your life. He is watching for more of His reflection in you. Take heart!
Maybe it feels like a discipline, shedding light on areas in our life that we wish God would just leave alone. Our debt and spending habits. Issues of communication with our spouse. Places where we dropped the ball in the raising of our kids. Our neglect of our time with Him. This pandemic and it’s results are forcing us to face those things and more in a myriad of ways. But know this: The Lord disciplines those He loves (Heb 12 v 6 & Prov 3 v 12), and even things that might look like the worst thing, can be used by God for our good.
We cannot “get pure” on our own. That is the message of the Gospel. Of the entire Bible in fact. We all have areas of rebellion and unbelief in our lives, but the beauty of a test allowed by God, is that we don’t have to stay stuck at the place of knowing what the impurities are that hold us back. We have a place we can go to with them. The purpose of a trial (the heating up of our lives) is to accomplish a purer and stronger character and faith. It is in the “heating up” of our lives that our weaknesses, sin, and character flaws come to the surface, so that they may be transformed. And the place of that transformation is always the cross. Forgiveness for sin and triumph over it is found right there.
If the bible is anything to go by, there is something beautiful on the other side of every test or obstacle. The red sea, the Jordan, the furnace and the cross. God’s word reveals, in the most intense trials of the saints that went before us, that there lies a revelation of true peace, true joy and true security for believers right there in the times and trials where these things seem to be most absent. My prayer is that, as you surrender to this test in your life, you will discover that too. For help, I’ve developed some journaling prompts and scriptures you might like to use during your quiet times and times of reflection with God. Be sure to subscribe to receive them in your inbox.
The purpose of a test is to assess our ability to apply what we’ve learned: 